I hereby decree that I am a pansy. A sissy little school-girl trapped in this 24-year old body of a Greek god. I used to think I was tough-- a real hard-nosed, thick-skinned, bunofastich. Emotions would roll off me like water off a duck's back. Not anymore.
Somewhere along the line I went soft (except for the deific Grecian physique, of course). A few weeks ago I admitted to liking chick flicks. Well, tonight I upped the ante: I cried watching a movie.
Don't get me wrong-- this wasn't the "uncontrollable-like-I-just-lost-my-dog-convulsion-sobbing" or anything; but more like the "shade-my-eyes-with-my-elbow-so-my-brother-and-sister-in-law-can't-see-me-blink-back-tears" variety. So that's not so bad, right? Right? C'mon guys...
Who am I kidding?! I am ashamed. No matter that the movie was only the best western ever created. I don't know if I can look y'all in the eye after tonight.
Lonesome Dove cost me my dignity, or what little I had left by that point in the evening (I walked in on a couple's dinner party which included an ex-girl-friend and her soon-to-be-fiancee. Shortly thereafter, the conversation turned to my floundering love life. Ouch.)
So the next time you're wondering if your wallet can hack the eight bucks for a new release, remember that the price of admission for watching a movie at home can be a whole lot more.
16 January 2006
06 January 2006
Twelfth Night
Well, I almost made it. But tonight I just can't think of anything clever or unique or even vaguely interesting to say. But since I committed to twelve days, this male must go on. I conclude this holiday blogging binge with my favorite quote of all time, by James Esdras Faust:
In the Gethsemanes of life which we all have, and often in my present calling, I have gone to my knees with a humble spirit to the only place I could for help. I often went in agony of spirit, earnestly pleading with God to sustain me in the work I have come to appreciate more than life itself. I have, on occasion, felt a terrible aloneness of the wounds of the heart, of the sweet agony, the buffetings of Satan, and the encircling warm comfort of the Spirit of the Master.
I have also felt the crushing burden, the self-doubts of inadequacy and unworthiness, the fleeting feeling of being forsaken, then of being reinforced an hundredfold. I have climbed a spiritual Mount Sinai dozens of times, seeking to communicate and to receive instructions. It has been as though I have struggled up an almost real Mount of Transfiguration and, upon occasion, felt great strength and power in the presence of the Divine. A special, sacred feeling has been a sustaining influence and often a close companion.
As I serve in the calling of the holy apostleship, I recognize that I am a very ordinary man. Yet I gratefully acknowledge one special gift. I have a certain knowledge that Jesus of Nazareth is our Divine Savior. I know that He lives. I know that through the unspeakable agony of the Atonement, men and women, if they repent, can be forgiven of their sins. Because of the miracle of the Resurrection, all will rise from the dead. I feel His love and marvel at the price He paid for each of us. I wonder how many drops of blood were spilled for me. This is the testimony I give of Him, even in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
In the Gethsemanes of life which we all have, and often in my present calling, I have gone to my knees with a humble spirit to the only place I could for help. I often went in agony of spirit, earnestly pleading with God to sustain me in the work I have come to appreciate more than life itself. I have, on occasion, felt a terrible aloneness of the wounds of the heart, of the sweet agony, the buffetings of Satan, and the encircling warm comfort of the Spirit of the Master.
I have also felt the crushing burden, the self-doubts of inadequacy and unworthiness, the fleeting feeling of being forsaken, then of being reinforced an hundredfold. I have climbed a spiritual Mount Sinai dozens of times, seeking to communicate and to receive instructions. It has been as though I have struggled up an almost real Mount of Transfiguration and, upon occasion, felt great strength and power in the presence of the Divine. A special, sacred feeling has been a sustaining influence and often a close companion.
As I serve in the calling of the holy apostleship, I recognize that I am a very ordinary man. Yet I gratefully acknowledge one special gift. I have a certain knowledge that Jesus of Nazareth is our Divine Savior. I know that He lives. I know that through the unspeakable agony of the Atonement, men and women, if they repent, can be forgiven of their sins. Because of the miracle of the Resurrection, all will rise from the dead. I feel His love and marvel at the price He paid for each of us. I wonder how many drops of blood were spilled for me. This is the testimony I give of Him, even in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
05 January 2006
Listless Blogging: A Top Ten
1. I like lists.
2. I always have.
3. I think they provide a sort of finite, tactile quality to an otherwise boundless, immeasurable world.
4. I like to take a list and conquer it, whether it is a daily "To Do" list, AFI's Top 100 movies of all time, or the Newbery Medal winners.
5. I am 7/73rds of the way through that last list.
6. I rarely finish my lists.
7. Or even get close.
2. I always have.
3. I think they provide a sort of finite, tactile quality to an otherwise boundless, immeasurable world.
4. I like to take a list and conquer it, whether it is a daily "To Do" list, AFI's Top 100 movies of all time, or the Newbery Medal winners.
5. I am 7/73rds of the way through that last list.
6. I rarely finish my lists.
7. Or even get close.
03 January 2006
i give up
Because every blog ought to have hastily-written haikus. And because giving up is a cause that I can really get behind.
i give up
three words of relief
to a faceless tormentor
spare me from myself
feel the apathy
and wrap it tight around you
safe from caring's winter
give up all feeling
stoics, buddhists, and jedi
know how to live well
i give up
three words of relief
to a faceless tormentor
spare me from myself
feel the apathy
and wrap it tight around you
safe from caring's winter
give up all feeling
stoics, buddhists, and jedi
know how to live well
The Sea of Humanity
This one's an original, penned (penciled actually) this very evening. I'm not completely satisfied yet, but well enough to post it. Any suggestions for a title?
Untitled
Although waves of despair,
Like mountains break,
And nearly drown my faith;
To His tender care,
My fears I take,
And trust He'll keep me safe.
And while the great deep,
Holds devils still,
Which seek to sink me in sin;
I know God will keep,
Me safe until,
I return to the heavens again.
And though through the depths,
Of darkness I pass,
Where often I feel all alone;
The Lord's Spirit has kept,
My heart of glass,
Shining like light from a stone.
Let life's fierce winds blow,
And trial's tempests din,
As long as this vessel shall stand.
For this do I know,
That these very same winds,
Carry me to the promised land.
--Ether 6:8-10
Untitled
Although waves of despair,
Like mountains break,
And nearly drown my faith;
To His tender care,
My fears I take,
And trust He'll keep me safe.
And while the great deep,
Holds devils still,
Which seek to sink me in sin;
I know God will keep,
Me safe until,
I return to the heavens again.
And though through the depths,
Of darkness I pass,
Where often I feel all alone;
The Lord's Spirit has kept,
My heart of glass,
Shining like light from a stone.
Let life's fierce winds blow,
And trial's tempests din,
As long as this vessel shall stand.
For this do I know,
That these very same winds,
Carry me to the promised land.
--Ether 6:8-10
02 January 2006
On New Year's Day
New Year's is a hard holiday for me to accept. It's not because I prefer Chinese New Year's (January 29th marks the beginning of Chinese Year 4704, the Year of the Dog, or in other words, ldssingles.com) or even the French Revolution New Year's (celebrated on September 22nd, the day when Robespierre restarted the entire French calendar). It's not because I don't get hysterical about a glowing ball slowly descending a pole atop a skyscraper, which is clearly a relevant way to celebrate a new year. And it's certainly not because I think the words to "Auld Lang Syne" are really Nazi propaganda (which I do).
It is simply a matter of timing (man, how I hate those words).
Here in the good ol' U.S. of A., we have decreed that midnight officially marks the transition from one day to the next. Thus, when the clock strikes 12:00 am, (00:00 in crazy places such as the military or European countries) a new day has begun.
Jews and college students around the globe, on the other hand, officially begin their day when the sun goes down, which coincidentally, is when: #1) we'll be groovin' and #2) everything gets hotter.
For me, though, these artificial designations are counter-intuitive. My day lasts from the time I wake up until the time I fall asleep, regardless of how many hours that period of time may entail. (I realize that for some people, without mentioning any names, this would mean that they would have about 20 "days" in a 24-hour period. Stefanie.) For example, in my world it is still Sunday, January 1st. (Looking at my watch, Monday, January 2nd, will not begin until approximately 14:00 tomorrow.)
This way of telling time just makes more sense to me. It also helps me justify staying up so late. If only I could convince Krispy Kreme to stay open this late. Oh wait...
The heights by great men reached and kept
Were not obtained by sudden flight,
But they, while their companions slept
Were toiling upward in the night.
--Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
It is simply a matter of timing (man, how I hate those words).
Here in the good ol' U.S. of A., we have decreed that midnight officially marks the transition from one day to the next. Thus, when the clock strikes 12:00 am, (00:00 in crazy places such as the military or European countries) a new day has begun.
Jews and college students around the globe, on the other hand, officially begin their day when the sun goes down, which coincidentally, is when: #1) we'll be groovin' and #2) everything gets hotter.
For me, though, these artificial designations are counter-intuitive. My day lasts from the time I wake up until the time I fall asleep, regardless of how many hours that period of time may entail. (I realize that for some people, without mentioning any names, this would mean that they would have about 20 "days" in a 24-hour period. Stefanie.) For example, in my world it is still Sunday, January 1st. (Looking at my watch, Monday, January 2nd, will not begin until approximately 14:00 tomorrow.)
This way of telling time just makes more sense to me. It also helps me justify staying up so late. If only I could convince Krispy Kreme to stay open this late. Oh wait...
The heights by great men reached and kept
Were not obtained by sudden flight,
But they, while their companions slept
Were toiling upward in the night.
--Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
01 January 2006
Resolution Revolution
I was going to come up with some new year's resolutions, but this just seemed easier.
RANDOM RESOLUTION GENERATOR
In the year 2006 I resolve to: |
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